Demon in my Soul
by TheObsidianPhoenix
Summary: A poem on the RxRxSf trangle in 3 parts, each with diff pov. A epilouge with RxR is here.full summary inside.
1. Longing

A/N: I'm back! I've had several fanfics in my folder for a while now, but A-Levels are killing me. I've been studying for my second modular exam (ongoing…:p) as well as writing for two newsletters and preparing for my Toastmasters first speech. ….. sigh .

Anyway, to relive some stress, here is my new poem, "Demon in my soul" it is loosely based on one of my own original poems, and revolves around the R x R x Sf triangle. (Haven't seen Spellbound yet, tho already a big R X Ro fan. )

So here it is, the first part of demon in my view, Ravens pov.

There is a demon in my soul.

And he tries to take me over

Every hour of every day.

I fight,

With all my strength,

To hold him down,

Lest he destroy all.

But there is something more,

Something outside my door,

That is as hard to bear as the demon inside.

O, how I remember that day,

A confession,

An affirmation,

And my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

What is this strange feeling inside of me,

Whenever he smiles at me,

It seems like time does not exist,

Everything just stops.

I push him away,

Away from my fear,

Never letting anything show.

But my mirror does not lie,

Mirrors show only truth,

And I'm afraid.

There is a new emption in my mirror,

And her name is Love,

I know who she desires,

Who I desire,

But he cannot see.

My demon will use love,

Poor weak love,

To release himself.

To wreak his destruction

With me and my emotions as the instrument.

I cannot let that happen,

I will not let that happen

This burden is mine,

Mine to bear alone.

But yet, these emotions,

My curse,

I cannot hold them down,

My demon in my soul…..

END PART ONE…..

PART TWO.

O, my love,

I need your help,

I need your love,

And I have sworn to always stand alone,

Forsaking emotions,

Emotions my curse.

How foolish were those vows I made,

My present predicament has shown,

Do not mistake my need for hate,

My scathing façade,

I pray you will have the strength to see past my heart's disguise,

For each night I lie alone,

And only you are in my dreams,

You are my pain……

Echoing down each night,

A haunting, sad refrain.

Haunting each and every night.

Bringing me no rest.

I look deep inside you,

I sense pain within your heart,

And my heart breaks once again over you,

She will comfort you,

I see you smile for her,

There is no room there for me

The world outside my door,

You my love

The new demon in my soul.

Fin.

next up, our fearless leaders pov.

coming soon....


	2. Indecision

Indecision

I need you as a friend, dear one,

I thought I loved you, but now I see,

I love you only as a sister.

And as my body stands beside you, hand in hand,

My heart yearns for another.

You may think that you have my love,

And all of my heart,

Bit there is a secret corner,

This place deep within my heart,

Where you, dear one, cannot go.

It belongs to a pair of soft violet eyes,

Which have remained in my heart form the beginning.

Bit she needs no one,

Her strength I admire.

But is there really a heart within her skin?

Who could love another?

Behind those walls,

That I see every day,

Lie her heart,

And her powers,

The risk I have to take.

How I long to find out,

But she will never open up,

Not for me, not for anyone.

I smile at her from across the room,

All I get is a glare,

Within her eyes,

I see naught but walls,

Who then, will help her?

No one else, for they can only see the walls,

Will she allow me?

But what I fear little one,

Is your grief, your potential hate,

To me and to her,

If I start.

This indecision,

Tearing at me from the inside,

Is the demon in my soul.


	3. Doubt

Doubt.

As I stand beside you here,

Hand in hand,

I wonder if you understand,

I seem to sense uneasiness,

When I look deeply at you.

I wish I knew what is worrying you so,

I wish I could see into your thoughts,

And so I try to hide it,

I smile for you,

But I only see your pain.

The sadness behind the mask and he smile you wear.

I see it in you,

So well hidden,

But traces are still there.

I would not be a source of grief,

I have often told you so,

I wish you could just tell me,

What is troubling you so.

I would do anything,

To make you happy again.

So is it me, something I did?

Your grief is the demon in my soul.


	4. Togetherness

A/N: this is the final installment in a set of four poems, based on the RxRxS triangle and it will have a RxR pairing. (wich was blatantly obvious from the start. ) Anyway, thanks for reading, and RxR forever……. Yay!

Togetherness. 

Was it so recent,

When we discovered this happiness,

You and i?

It seems like forever,

Yet is only a year.

We were two incongruous elements,

The Light and the Dark.

You were the righteous noble leader,

I the one with the black past.

Yet, when we are together,

We, fit in a perfect whole.

Is it my imagination,

Or do we seem to fit,

My hand so perfectly in yours,

Our lips meeting in the middle,

Was this meant to be?

You are the light,

shining into my dark existence.

When you admitted these feelings,

Holding me on the beach,

For the first tine,

I cried,

Not I grief but in happiness.

My cloak,

My clothes,

Are now white,

You may look confused,

Think it suits me ill,

But deep inside I rejoice,

Your love has finally brought balance,

To my emotions,

To my soul.

With this love and balance,

I finally had the power, the strength

To defeat my past,

My father.

My life complete.

Light and Dark,

You shone your light into my black soul,

Once so tainted,

Now free of darkness, though my powers remain,

You were the dawn of my soul.

I look at this jewel,

Not on my forehead,

But on my right finger,

This is what gave me the strength

To defeat my past.

Now it is a symbol of my future,

My future of freedom,

With you.

Together, Light and Dark,

We created a dawn,

Of a new beginning,

A dawn, rising on the horizon,

Of togetherness.

A/N: the ring that I have referred to is a promise ring, worn usually on the ring finger of the right hand, or in the second finger of the left.

Till next time, cheers…… a couple of songfics and a one shot in the works….


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